Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Self Seduction

During this Valentine’s Season I love to encourage my sisters to remember to love themselves, to get involved in fine art of Self Seduction. If you are without a mate at this time, that’s no reason not to celebrate this Valentine's Day. It is said, that if you don’t love yourself, appreciate and treat yourself well, why should someone else want to? It starts with you! Here are a few of my ideas for celebrating Valentine’s Day, if your "significant other", hasn’t arrived in your life just yet.

What not to do: Whatever you do, don’t have a pity party! Do not engage in self talk that is defeatist. That’s definitely not the move for putting yourself in the proper frame of mind to attract that soul-mate who is headed your way.

#1-Sit down with a pen and paper and write out all the things you would do if that perfect person were in your life right now. You'd probably have your hair and nails done, you know you’d get out the pretty undies, take a bubble bath with candles, and put on your best perfume and lounge wear. There’s no reason not to do so at this juncture. So put yourself in the mood and do for yourself what you’ve done for others. Do those special things that make you look, smell, and feel delicious. Invite some friends over and have Champagne, watch movies, dish the dirt, cut up and have good ole time.

#2 – Some times eating out isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and [Valentine’s Day] is one of those times (unless you’re going top shelf all the way). I say this because on Valentine’s Day any descent restaurant is going to be very busy, thus making service and food somewhat lacking due to the volume of folks to be served. Instead, go out shopping for some of your favorite foods and cook yourself an exotic and delicious meal. Something you know you would do to impress someone else. Why not impress yourself?

#3 – Follow the steps in #1 but instead inviting over friends, have some reflective time alone. You may want to make a list of what you’re looking for in that special mate that has yet to come across your path. Write them a letter and keep it tucked in a special place. While you’re at it, make a list of what you have to offer that’s worthy and special. You know you have a lot to bring to the table, so what a great time to take stock of your worth. Read a great book , work on your art, create a vision, take a ride out to the ocean (yes even in the winter), stroll through a beautiful park, visit a museum, or whatever makes you smile inside and out.

#4 - Treat yourself to a body service – there’s nothing like having a great massage or facial to make you feel, "Oh so lovely and Om like".

#5. I love flowers and will buy them for myself any time I’m in the mood. I don’t wait to receive them from others. So buy yourself a bouquet of your favorite flowers and display them in that just right spot.

#6 Purchase Mikki Taylor's Self Seduction "The Path to Inner and Outer Beauty". She's done the research on how to be good to yourself.

#7 Visit Khamit Kinks! We know how to pamper and sprinkle the love and care.

Well, these are just a few of the ways I’ve given myself joy in the past. Until that right person comes along, you've got to get used to being treated in the best way and who better to do that right now than you? I hope it has been an inspiration for your own ideas of how to honor yourself. Remember, there's no better time than now to count your blessing and love you.


  1. thank you for the reminder, I have Nikki Taylor's book.I am about to celebrate my 5oth birthday. I attempted to create this as the most beautiful time of my life but I have experienced a lost of power and love in a arena where I believed that love and loving would prevail.I am numb.I thank you for all your suggestions. I will do my best to turn the page and focus on what is my truth!

  2. Thanks, Anu. I like this one. I'm always one for loving yourself. It makes it so much easier to love and be loved.

    Something I've been doing for the past two months is keeping a "Good Things Happen Everyday" journal. At the end of each day, I write at least three good things that happened that day. And for each thing, I write the cause of that good thing. I found the exercise on website connected to the field of positive psychology. I've done gratitude journals before but didn't stick with it for long. What's different about this one for me is that I have to think about my role in the good things that happened to me. So if I write, "I had and excellent yoga class. I got my head on my left knee in Standing Head to Knee," I have to think about why that happened. Reasons include: good instruction, consistent practice, dedication to my practice, improved focus, strength and flexbility. Nothing happens by chance. We create our realities. When we want, are ready for change, then we must image it, think it, say it, feel it, then we can be it.

    Hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day. I did and yes, I'm single at the moment.