Peony Explosion

The first time I saw a picture of a peony, I feel in love with this gorgeous flower and it's been a mad romance since that day. And this began with a mere picture of the flower. Never mind the fact that it was the middle of the summer. I knew not much about gardening, except that I had just caught the gardening bug. I purchased the peony roots and proceeded to plant them in the dead of the summer. Of course since peonies are to be planted in the fall, nothing came of those efforts, except a loss of money and a great lesson learned. RIF, reading is fundamental. Had I read the package, I would have known this was not the right time for planting peonies.

Someone famous once said, "I never saw a flower that I didn't like". Well, I have some friends who, let's just say, they're flower snobs. Most of their garden is filled with small, very rare, and delicate types. They don't like peonies and consider them too big and showy. To each his own, I absolutely love them; to me they're bodacious and beautiful. When they're totally open, their texture reminds me of paper, kind of on the order of poppy flowers. And their transformation from that weird looking bud, to the show stopping, pink blossom, never ceases to amaze me.

Fast forward to today and I have been taking pics every year of my peonies, as if they were school pictures of my kids or something. This year I tried my best to get each stage of their development. But that's a tricky task. This past Monday one of the peonies was barely open, just sort of peaking out. You could barely see it. Two hours later when I came outside to take a photo of it, it had totally opened up (it was 89 degrees). I couldn't believe it! Imagine if I had had a video taping the entire opening, like a PBS nature show or something. It would have been phenomenal. But such is life. I missed that show.

I've been through this almost every year with my peonies. They will be locked up, closed tight, taking their sweet time to open and bloom. And then it's like, BOOM, there's a heat wave and they literally explode open. I would prefer a slow and steady opening, so as to drag out this fabulous show of nature. Because once they're all the way open, the next stage is the petals dropping one by one, to the ground. It's a beautiful experience regardless of the timing of the heat wave. And I am so blessed to have this enchanting experience year after year. Sweet peonies, my love, I'll await your return again and again.

2009 peony show.

High Tea

While in Miami recently, my sisters and I went to visit the fabulous Ms. Ruth. To know Ruth, is to love her. She is one of the most "larger than life" people I’ve ever known. She’s an artist, very smart, and a psychic who responds with quick wit that's always insightful and often hilarious regarding any and everything in life. She’s no joke! The first time I met Ruth was in 1979. I was living in Miami, braiding hair for a living. Ms. Ruth an art student at the University of Miami, decided she wanted to learn how to braid. I was braiding the hair of one of her friends and this friend called her up and told her to come over and meet me. Boy did we ever meet! She was damn near in my lap trying to see and learn my techniques! I was appalled by her overt enthusiasm. I wanted nothing to do with her. She was a pushy, up in your face, older lady (35 yrs. old). At the time, I was 23 and thought I was all that! She immediately set me straight right then… and many times thereafter. To my surprise we became fast friends. She would not give up on me, insisted on being my friend. I was too different at the time for anybody else in Miami to embrace me. I wore extension braids, East Indian clothing and did yoga, totally weird back then. And did I mention the movie “10” was all the rage at the time. Years later Ruth and I eventually became business partners and later opened a Khamit Kinks in Atlanta.

So this visit was long over due. I hadn’t seen Ruth in about three years and my sisters hadn’t seen her in over a decade. She asked my sister MK, what would she like to do if money wasn’t an issue. MK promptly replied, “I would like to be a lady who lunches”. A couple of days later we were invited to join Ms. Ruth at a spot called Hidden Tea Secrets and believe me it was hidden. We were so lost trying to find this secluded enclave.

The Hidden Tea Secret is antique Victorian, flowers everywhere, but very classy and beautiful. We were the only folk who looked like us there. The teas, the ambiance, the fine foods, the over the top fancy hats, it was simply delightful and the company was the very best. Of course I had to ask for honey and that’s when the heart rates went up. The waitress brings this very odd honey jar that has a saucer attached to the bottom. As Ms. Ruth is trying to get the honey to flow, the saucer releases itself from the jar, falls and shatters when it hits the floor. In this very quiet space, I swear the sound was so loud it could be heard in the next county. Ms. Ruth was so embarrassed. But the lovely son of the owner came over and assured us that it happens often… How nice was that?

I had never had high tea before and now I have, thanks to none other than Ms. Ruth. Of course Ms. Ruth topped it off by purchasing each of us a china teacup with matching saucer. I love tea and I must admit it taste so different in a china teacup as compared to a paper cup or a mug. I’m use to drinking out of big mugs, the bigger the better. Now when I really want a treat, I just get out my beautiful teacup from Ms. Ruth. Thank you Ms. Ruth, for yet another great experience. You’re the absolute best!

Self Seduction

During this Valentine’s Season I love to encourage my sisters to remember to love themselves, to get involved in fine art of Self Seduction. If you are without a mate at this time, that’s no reason not to celebrate this Valentine's Day. It is said, that if you don’t love yourself, appreciate and treat yourself well, why should someone else want to? It starts with you! Here are a few of my ideas for celebrating Valentine’s Day, if your "significant other", hasn’t arrived in your life just yet.

What not to do: Whatever you do, don’t have a pity party! Do not engage in self talk that is defeatist. That’s definitely not the move for putting yourself in the proper frame of mind to attract that soul-mate who is headed your way.

#1-Sit down with a pen and paper and write out all the things you would do if that perfect person were in your life right now. You'd probably have your hair and nails done, you know you’d get out the pretty undies, take a bubble bath with candles, and put on your best perfume and lounge wear. There’s no reason not to do so at this juncture. So put yourself in the mood and do for yourself what you’ve done for others. Do those special things that make you look, smell, and feel delicious. Invite some friends over and have Champagne, watch movies, dish the dirt, cut up and have good ole time.

#2 – Some times eating out isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and [Valentine’s Day] is one of those times (unless you’re going top shelf all the way). I say this because on Valentine’s Day any descent restaurant is going to be very busy, thus making service and food somewhat lacking due to the volume of folks to be served. Instead, go out shopping for some of your favorite foods and cook yourself an exotic and delicious meal. Something you know you would do to impress someone else. Why not impress yourself?

#3 – Follow the steps in #1 but instead inviting over friends, have some reflective time alone. You may want to make a list of what you’re looking for in that special mate that has yet to come across your path. Write them a letter and keep it tucked in a special place. While you’re at it, make a list of what you have to offer that’s worthy and special. You know you have a lot to bring to the table, so what a great time to take stock of your worth. Read a great book , work on your art, create a vision, take a ride out to the ocean (yes even in the winter), stroll through a beautiful park, visit a museum, or whatever makes you smile inside and out.

#4 - Treat yourself to a body service – there’s nothing like having a great massage or facial to make you feel, "Oh so lovely and Om like".

#5. I love flowers and will buy them for myself any time I’m in the mood. I don’t wait to receive them from others. So buy yourself a bouquet of your favorite flowers and display them in that just right spot.

#6 Purchase Mikki Taylor's Self Seduction "The Path to Inner and Outer Beauty". She's done the research on how to be good to yourself.

#7 Visit Khamit Kinks! We know how to pamper and sprinkle the love and care.


Well, these are just a few of the ways I’ve given myself joy in the past. Until that right person comes along, you've got to get used to being treated in the best way and who better to do that right now than you? I hope it has been an inspiration for your own ideas of how to honor yourself. Remember, there's no better time than now to count your blessing and love you.